I now knew that this was a make or break deal.  I knew that I needed to have something that would bind us together or we would never be together.  The money was holding us back, the house was holding me back.
I knew in the end that I would never benefit financially from paying him to live as his houseboy.  It was all he wanted and he was not going to get it.  He paid off his Mortgage and I remember his Mother saying to his Neice "now you will always have a place to live"  Who was I?  Where the fuck did I fit into that?
No where!!!!   Sadly I do not have saved funds and am living paycheck to paycheck not a good money manager am I but I could afford a 2nd home a Vacation home one that we could call our own, something not to far, big enough to entertain and be impressive and hold a good amount of people.  He was in and the search began.   He agreed to come up with the down payment 20% and I would pay the remainder.
As the search began his selfish ugly side would rear its head, it was now about him and his Vacation home and how when I buy the Vacation home.  Finally one evening after hearing for the 90th time I pulled him aside and said "Stop saying this is your Vacation home this is ours"   You would have thought I told him that the Earth just stopped spinning a look of bewilderment like "really??"  followed by "okay"  but it was not okay he was still making it the "King" show he was large and in charge.   I stumbled upon in my search a 5 bedroom Stone sided house that was grand!  It had a massive center hall with large rooms for entertaining and sat up in a lovely little sleepy town with a Stream in front and a Barn.  It was not perfect by any stretch but it was nice.  It was owned by a Gay man who lived there with his lover and they had Theatrically decorated the place so surface wise it was lovely underneath it had its share of issues but nothing that you could not repair overtime.   I was in love I was so happy and proud to be able to say I got a house now, even though it was 2 hours away and he was putting down the deposit but it looked to be great fun for what our needs were.   We got close real close, I had an inspector come in and yes it needed a roof and had some water issues but the bones were good and at the end of the day the inspector said he would buy it.
I went on vacation that day of the inspection he joined me for the inspection and went home afterwards where he and am sure his family talked himself out of it.  When I called him the following day I knew the deal was done and it was just me struggling to get him to see that this could be fun.   It was not to be and after coming home from Vacation he pulled the power card and said go ask your Family for the money I am not interested and that was that.    This was followed the following year of another house hunt this time on his terms and his territory, I followed along with some hope but I knew in the end it would not happen.  He once again pulled away from the deal and I said to myself never again.  As I knew it was not meant to be.  While all that was going a gut renovation of his house was taking place and it was going to be lovely he spent over 100k on this and it turned out very nice, I was proud to live in it and took great strides to make it a showplace.  I planted and decorated till it looked like a true party place and lovely setting to be.  At this stage I no longer cared what he thought and entertained my Family in abundance and this did not please the King he fought me in silent battles and kept reminding me that it was his house.  His rage would come on and he would scream at me to "get out of my house"   I ignored his empty and veiled threats and continued on in my persuit of creating a showplace, anytime someone came over they were charmed by the house how they were made to feel and how welcoming I had created it, I took great pride in something that was not my own and would and could be snatched away at any moment.  The King at this stage was drinking heavily and I knew to avoid and learned how not to provoke him by staying silent and carrying on by planning different venues and inviting folks over for cookouts dinner parties etc.   In the end I saw who I was and I was just the houseboy once again cooking and cleaning and decorating and it was all for naught.  His travels were slowing down his Job put him on Freelance and he began to anger more and more.  The complaining began daily, his rhetoric began that no one knew what he was going through and how he had been betrayed by his Job and how dare they make him freelance.  This of course left him with no security of employment and attacked his self esteem, which was so low at that point anyways.  In that bit of time span he lost his Dad to a Viral infection bought on by a Hospital that misdiagnosed him.   The King tried but his Dad at this point had given up.  His family, sadly are so disabled that they could not get out of their own way and were left scrambling trying to figure out what to do.  The King felt that tough love was the only way to get his Dad back and hired this crazy Russian lady who lived at the house while his Dad was  recuperating.   I watched how they just let the King come in and take over and they let this woman be cruel and mean to the Father and he felt it was right and that was the why he would get better.  In the end he died from the infection and the King blamed himself, a tough thing on him but this is who he is.
What I learned through all that was how selfish his Mother was how unwilling she was to assist her husband to cook or care for him.  She was able but played the weak card and watched this man her husband who treated her as a Princess die in front of her eyes.   After he passed she played the victim card she was pissed that her husband of 40 some odd years had left her and she no longer could go out whenever she wanted and shop till her hearts content.  For her children were surely not going to do it, as she herself was a selfish person and had raised the same people.  I watched how they abandoned her leaving her alone to sit in the Living room at the house while I entertained and did not care to go over and have her join in.  One evening her daughter and her granddaughter went out for dinner, here was an 84 year old Woman who was feeble at best left to walk on her on to some Restaurant and she fell and broke her wrist, no remorse in fact they laughed about it.  Again you get what you give and she got what she gave.  She began to have health issues and slowly began to decline, it was also the constant complaining the Doctors the aches the pains it was constant and nothing was going to make this Woman happy.  They abandoned her and left her to sit in the house dragging her to Dinners and our house and plopping her in a chair and leaving her to herself.
I liked her mostly out of respect and I felt sad for her as she was alone and had lost a Man who placed her on this pedastal, something she would never have again.   The King would plan Vacations mostly renting of houses within driving distance and she would find a chair and never move, she complained constantly and they repeatedly ignored her while she deteriorated.
My 50th Birthday was rapidly approaching and as usual had no one to do anything for me but me.  Not entirely true my Family would have sent me to the Moon and back but my partner not so much.
He was on one of his trips which at this stage in the were beginning to debilitate him so the mere mention of him helping me put something together would send him into a tail spin of "do you have anyone idea what I do"
So I had found this house down at the Shore that had 9 bedrooms in around 10,000 square feet and decided that I would rent it for 10 days and throw a week long party.   I cannot remember where he was or what Country he was in but when I called him to tell him that this was what I was doing and how I was going to split the trip with my Family arriving for the first part of the week and then our Friends and his Family arriving for the 2nd part of the week.  His answer to me was "I dont think I can do that after coming home from this trip I will do the 2nd part of the week."    I am not sure if it was the 2nd glass of Wine I had already consumed or the fact that I was so taken aback on how callous and selfish he was that my reply was "if you do not come on this entire trip with me we are done.   How does the saying go "nothing goes unpunished"