So I pulled the trip together with zero help from him.  I invited my Family for the first 4 days, his for the remaining 4 and his friends.  I did that so he would not complain, he showed up and remained so quiet and withdrawn as if it were a punishment for him a sentence, he treated me kindly but I knew that it was not something he wanted to do and it was an obligation to him.  My Family pulled out all the stops gratefully they hired a Chef and set the house up for a sit down dinner for 19 people!  All my Family, my Brother flew in from Colorado with his wife and 2 children along with the rest of my nieces, nephews and Sisters along with my Mom.   The house is a grand place a Mansion that sits on the Bay with lovely views and massive space, an elevator a Chefs Kitchen it suited us all very well and I will say that it was a great time.  My Mom asked to stay for 2nd part which delighted me so much that she wanted to be a part of my life and friends who all happen to be Gay for the most part.  She was quiet and I was very attentive to her she was glad to be with there which made me very happy.  His Mom was with us too and it was so clear the difference between the two.  His Mom never moved my Mom did not stop and she got along great with everyone and contributed and was so active and participated.  I know she did all of this for me.  It was a good time and I do believe everyone had a great time.  It was costly but I was happy I was able to provide this not only for me but everyone who was important in my life.
I was disappointed that he contributed nothing and more so that he did not even bother to give me a gift but I guess he felt by him being there was his present.  I reminded him when when we got home that I invited his friends for him and he thanked me for that.   In remembering, I knew to stay away from him I knew that he would be looking for some reason to pick a fight be it something I may say or do anything so he could make it about him.  I did not give him that leverage as this was my time not his.
Time went on and his travel kept him busy and my Job kept me occupied and we went through the motions. I was happiest when he was away and would count down to when he was leaving it kept me motivated and I knew he hated it and he made such a big deal about it but in my head I would be counting days.  What a stupid way to live, was i that much of loner or were things so bad that I knew my only sanity would be when he would just go.  I think about those thoughts because in the end he was refusing to travel and I think that I knew when he was saying that, it was time for me to exit. I knew coming home day after day to see him either sitting on that couch having done nothing all day long or if in the case he did do something, it had to be exalted to the highest mountain on how wonderful he was that he DID something.  I would praise him as he needed that but if it was me doing something it was met with "well you did not do it for me"
He was and is a bitter old sod, it became so tedious and torturous to listen to on a daily basis.
When he traveled I would never call him cause I was happy not to have to listen to how tired he was or how he missed everything and then he would begin to list all he missed and how his job cost him so much and on and on...  I believe in the end it was his complaining his negative attitude along with his laziness that did us in. I do not have the best of lives at times it is a struggle but the one thing I do have is my sense of humor if you cannot laugh and make chide of something it all becomes so daunting... Countless times he would tell me I am not funny, I knew I was and I did not care what he thought because his goal was to beat me down only to make him feel better about himself...  That was his schtick his moniker if you will, if someone else was worse off than he, he was in a good place.  He would never go out of his way to help someone and if he did I needed to be included.  I remember the time we moved his Parents and Sister and Husband with Child from the place they lived to be closer and be in a better neighborhood along with being closer to us.  They visited every weekend it was endless and would stay over so it would be two days.  I knew that this would never stop and wanted no part of it and figured if I move them closer it will suit my needs as they don't need to stay over anymore.   After several weeks I stumbled upon this older 2 family in the next town over and went to take a look it was pretty good for what they needed.  Some cosmetic work and it would be great.
The amount of SHIT that these people had accumulated was astounding, rows and rows of crap and towels and linens and bathroom sets and Curtains and clothes and "As Seen on TV" crap.  On the day of the closing before anyone had moved in I took it upon myself to clean out the basement.  The morons who lived in the house Vented the dryer into the basement so it was covered in lint.  I donned some Goggles a hat an jacket, took the blower and blew all the lint that was covered on rafters and what not.   It was a big task but in the end it looked great clean as a whistle.  They hired 4 moving Vans and it took them 2 days to move.  by the time I got back to the house after cleaning the basement I went down to view my work and found the place stacked wall to ceiling with boxes and CRAP  Freezers, Fridges, every tool known to mankind.   The place was packed and only to find out that they had purged everything they could prior to moving.   It was sad actually as you saw the amount of money that was spent on CRAP.  I was at the house when his Mom and Dad moved in and was unloading boxes in the Kitchen I pulled out 14 bottles of Cinnamon with Sugar all opened.  His Mom was a serious shopper she bought everything but it was crap all junk nothing  He got the house with a mortgage not bad for a 70 something year old.  So after my cleaning and doing what I did, I took a day to go house hunting with my Sister and we took a ride over to see the place and there he is washing something in the living room and he looks at me like I was pariah and how dare I not be with him and doing for him.  I had already cleaned all the Windows in the house, I was happy that he was pissed cause I knew how he felt.  He declared that move the worst thing he ever did.  They would come to him for everything as they could not get out of their own way.  He enabled them, as that is why they always went to him.  He fought them and they saw his bitter side and his callous attitude, was not easy and he made a name for himself.  Bully....Hence the reason why he said it was his greatest mistake.